Calm As Can Be ;

GOOD EVENING EARTHLINGS .

it is such a honour to have you stopping by my humble blog tonight.

please allow me to take up some time of your life to share with you my thoughts of the day .

(wow i swear my english gets a whole lot better when i am not as calm as i should be.)

ok so i had a tiny quarrel with someone . (not going to mention names because that would just be asshole)

i am not at all happy about it, obviously. 

never been happy about this kind of stuff.

and if i ever am about a fight with you, i'm done with you.

you may kindly take your leave because it would not matter shit to me anymore.

hmm. i am unsure why i feel thrown off my balance by this.

i could be extremely insensitive with my words.

but i would like to seek understanding that i do not know your past and i know nothing about what you did.

you cannot put blame on me for saying words that hurt you without me knowing why.

unless you are extremely sure i would have know this was your weak spot, 

don't give me shit .

do you need an idiot like me with no good relationships at all to tell you the taboos in life ?

1. never pick a fight with someone who worries for you .

2. never pick a fight with someone who picked up your midnight calls .

3. never pick a fight with someone who stuck with you despite knowing your shit .

i can give you a thousands reasons why i can leave you .

just by knowing .

i could have easily taken that as a flaw i hated .

and deemed it as my cue to leave .

but i did not .

so shut your trap .

if you need a cue of when to leave , it's never .

now get that in your head .

"easy come easy go" is just easier said than done .

-what an irony-

you better as hell have balls of steel to leave because when you do, 

don't expect me to do shit about you .

i will not give a damn .

don't call me .

don't text me .

don't look at me .

don't find me .

no .

just no .

i will not care .

because i had enough .

i don't have to be the one who always takes a step back and say sorry for what i did .

you have your weak spots but so do i .

don't pick on me for the small things .

it's not going to work .

pick on the big things .

like how i hate your bad habits to the core and still stuck around .

just so you know . 

smoking and drinking almost broke up my family .

what do you have to say .

i have a fair reason to hate things you do .

and i never complained shit .

stahp .

you don't know what people leaving does to me .

don't say things like that like it's so easy .

it shows how much i'm worth .

and if i'm not worth a lot, i don't want to be part of it .

sorry, it's just not my style .

xxx sorry babes . i don't mean to rant .

but i need to get it off my chest .

hate people who just leave you like you meant nothing to them .

even after you do a lot for them .

i feel like a piece of shit right now .

i'm gonna go cry myself to sleep .

no mood to study now .

bitch .

i hate this feeling .

i hate being insecure .

Joy