Fickle ;

Hey guys .

I'm really sad now because i only got 4 hours of sleep . 

And i couldn't sleep anymore idk why . 

I have also decided not to appeal for TP in the end . 

Although i would very much love to be part of that society , i feel that it will cause alot of tension with my mum and i , and i'd rather do without it just because my family is already kind of tearing up .

I know it's kind of selfish considering i was the one who was so adamant (is that how you spell that ?) about the appeal . 

But idk why , it just doesn't seem right wherever i go . 

I could be absolutely wrong , but i just treasure my family more than myself . 

I could go to SP but there isn't really a point because i can't decide between design or business . 

So i may as well stick with NP . 

It's not a bad school . 

And i do have alot of friends going there . 

It can't be that bad right ? 

Maybe i'll even turn up to like NP more ? 

I'm not sure . 

But even so , i may grow to dislike TP with time even if i studied there LOL .

So yeah . 

Let's keep the good memories to heart and move on ba . 

T.T 

So yesterday i met up with Justin , Jr and Nick . 

Wlao i was really upset (i was on the brink of tears actually) since i won't see Justin till like July , and even if i do see him , he could change alot . 

Time flies really fast siah ! 

Our packing days feels like yesterday , i don't feel anymore like a seventeen-year-old , and nothing changed , but time flies . 

That scares me .

It's so taunting to face this new college thing by myself but i guess that's how life goes and all i hope for is the close ties with my closest friends to remain strong despite the distance and new environment for all of us . 

People remind me that "people come and go" , but if i got used to it , i will pity myself because that's an excuse to me , when you can't make someone stay long enough in your life . 

As quoted from JR yesterday , people could be clouds in my life and they could be blown away , but winds don't come with no reason . 

Having said that , i don't have confidence that people will stay with me for who i am because to this date , i cannot introduce myself to someone clearly because i have yet to know myself . 

In fact , i have a feeling some know me better than i know myself and that's kinda sad . 

(This post is so depressing)

I'm just feeling really down now i guess . 

Haiz . 

Justin's flying off on the 12th . 

JR's enlisting in May . 

My secondary school and primary school friends have gone their separate ways to be a step closer to their ideal future . 

I am just waiting . 

For my time to start stepping closer to that . 

I can't wait for everything to fall into place seriously . 

Can't time just pause and let me think . 

My favourite boy and my favourite man . 

If you were wondering , i have another favourite .. 

What can i say ? :p

He's freaking amazing and ermm he makes life a little easier i guess . 

Idk . He knows best . 

(Ps i have alot of female favourite too . So please . Stop .)

Joy