Bottled up ;
I need clarify one thing , i am not on PMS and this post was written some time after this has happened and is not a rash decision .
Today was pretty fine and everything .
Except i was pretty frustrated with a few customers .
I saw this lady come to our counter at least like 10 times today .
IS THERE REALLY A NEED FOR SO MANY FREAKING HELLO KITTIES IN ONE HOUSE ?
I mean , with you claiming so many , there are people out there who can't claim any just for being a day or two late and i think that's just selfish .
Honestly .
I don't want to say that's cheap , because that'd be REALLY rude .
During lunch Kelly sabo me siah LOL .
LOL so i did the dare a quarter way there and i was like fuck this .
Because of one reply .
Err sounds pretty weird but yeah .
I sent one to Yongxun and he was freaking stunned .
2/5 asked my what is wrong with me LOL .
Danielle also !
(We don't text normally)
But she said it made her day and i was glad it did .
Zav got it too and he was like "I FEEL THE LOVE MAN" .
HAHAHAHA .
After that i texted to Joel Poh and he was like WTF .
LOL .
I WAS LIKE , WHAT . ):
After that i suay suay tio Keon la .
So i did what i was supposed to do and he rejected me lol .
Said we were barely acquaintances (i can't be bothered to check the dictionary so bear with me) , and told me to give up on it .
And said Shawn told him about me .
And it got awkward .
And i got mad .
I don't even regret shit .
LOL .
I usually feel REALLY horrible after i lash it out at someone , but i swear this won't make it to that list this time .
I got mad to the extent i just rage and like went on all my social network and made sure i got rid of anything and anyone that has to do with him .
I didn't block him , but i unfollowed him and stuff .
I don't want to remind myself of bad stuff anymore because being a good girl doesn't pay off anymore in the current society i don't even .
I also unfollowed his friends (sorry to those who i actually really liked their photos with no strings attached) .
And yeah .
LOL IDK WHY I FELT LIKE DOING THAT .
But i was actually pretty upset about it because i not only treated him as a friend , and i also did put in effort to bring us closer .
Not only in the past .
So i was quite sad .
I didn't know he thought we were that distanced , because if not meeting each other would make the heart distance then my baby and i would be long gone and strayed from our path together .
YaoKuan and i haven't met for 4 whole freaking years , not a single word .
Things have changed but we share our experiances and we get close again .
That's my point of view , but if it's different from another's then i don't see a point anymore .
I'm still pretty mad .
Now that i think about it .
And my heart breaks all the time but it's fine .
It's like a freaking cycle because i don't like the guys who like me and i like guys who are jerks to me and i have no idea why .
I think i'm blind .
Oh and to make this clearer , I AM NOT LOOKING FOR A BOYFRIEND .
I am also able to use "I love you" freely only on texts . I tell that to everyone only because i feel EVERYONE has a right to be reminded of how loved they are .
And because all teachers say "Treat others the way you want to be treated" .
Even if not now , i want to be reminded constantly of how loved i am by people around me through words and actions .
Also , to Keon or whatever , your words actually tore me up .
Because to a girl that barely likes what she sees in the mirror everyday , your words can make a huge difference .
If you think this girl has no right to like someone just for the sake of it then i will think that way .
BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE MAKE ME THINK THAT WAY .
Right ?
I think i am so inconsiderate , lashing out online .
But tbh , idgaf anymore .
If people hurt me , then i don't mean enough to them for them to care .
You get what i mean right ?
If it was unintentional , forget it .
If it was planned then i have nothing to say , GTFO .
I actually bothered doing up things for your birthday .
Near my 'O's .
Remember that .
That was how much i treasured you .
With past tense .
Sorry for making you readers read this crap .
And it probably doesn't make sense and i still suck and am still ugly and nobody will love me so i give up .
Guys suck .
I'll just go marry food .
And get a dog .
And love the hell out of that poor animal .
I got love to share but if people don't nee or want it then i can't be bothered anymore .
Life is fair right .
I'm getting Karma for being such a bitch in the past ~
Mwahs for you despite everything .
Because i love you .
I have never said that in real life to any guy .
Never .
I say it only to the girls .
So if that could be a pick up line , i would be lesbian .
(What am i even talking about anymore)
Joy
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