Another Beginning ;
I know usually every year i would reintroduce myself to my usual/new readers or if there is anyone even reading this dead blog HAHAHA.
But this year i don't really feel like doing that anymore.
I feel like every year i kind of repeat myself.
Not that i don't change at all, but it's just that i don't think i've changed in ways that can be easily expressed in words.
I would believe that every year my thinking changes, and the people who stand beside me change constantly.
Even though i would really appreciate some constants here and there, but i also can't help that we all change in unexpected ways where we all just grow apart, looking for people who can understand us better.
Before i entered University, i've honestly never had friends who would be willing to cab down to my house at 3am to talk to me and make sure i'm okay, meet me outside for drinks at 12am when i'm just feeling like shit, drive out just to send me home.
Of course, i didn't make all my friends do that LOL COS CAB IS EXPENSIVE, JUST LIKE DRINKS AND ALSO PETROL.
We all gotta be financially more careful as we approach adulthood LOL.
But all these thoughts are things i will bring with me into every phase of my life from now on.
I want to be able to remind myself to be more grateful and thankful.
Be more appreciative, aware, and more involved in things.
I realised that ever since i've started being on more social media, i've slowly started to withdraw from everyone, just being satisfied in my own little bubble and comfort zone.
I don't go out to explore anymore like i used to.
Make the effort to go out there and experience things i've always wanted to see even though i could.
Hiding behind the poor excuse of "no time", "too tired", when all these could easily be solved.
I hope 2019 will be more fulfilling.
I'll be graduating this year, so i'm hoping to be able to work some simple jobs that will allow me to gain experience in the field of Human Resource.
I know, i know.
Why the sudden change from my dream to be a psychologist all along ?
Honestly, learning more and more about Psychology, not only has my interest been peaked, my decent grades have definitely also boosted my confidence in the subject.
However, my lecturers have made a fair point on how my personality would be a detrimental aspect to my career.
First of all, i would definitely love to help everyone, and treat everyone with so much love, that i'll probably be bringing all these problems home with me.
I don't think i'll ever be able to forgive myself either if anything happened to my patients, which is honestly something we can't predict.
So in conclusion, my personality will probably self-destruct my career within years LOL.
Not that training and all are not possible, but that will also make me less invested in my patients, and if i cannot be fully invested in everyone just to protect myself, i rather i not do this at all.
100% or 0% at all.
All or nothing.
I guess that's the kind of person i am, so it'll be difficult to change also la.
But for sure, i'm hoping to grow to be more professional at work, separate my emotions from my jobs, and just do what i have to, and can do for whatever.
I just want to be good at what i do someday.
There are many things to be accomplished this January, and so far i have:
1. my Taekwondo 2nd Dan Grading
2. First concert EVER (YAS BTS LEGGO I CAN'T WAIT TO SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AT NAMJOONIE LOL)
3. Driving test !
All very big things at the start of the year LOL.
And of course, i'll be turning 22 in no time.
I don't think January can be any more exciting.
I just really hope this year can be off to a good start with all 3 having some sort of good ending ok.
I regret my signing on for the grading.
I totally don't feel prepared at all.
And i have no mood for it also. #cry
But as practice for the professionalism, i shall go ahead and try anyway.
In this short time i have, i shall try to brush up on all that i have and PRAY DAMN HARD i don't fail badly ok. (i kind of expecting it already not going to lie, but i just hope i at least pass poomsae and sparring ???? just don't make me fail ALL 3 - poomsae, sparring and self-defence) LOL.
After that, my driving test....
I actually feel comfortable driving now, but i think i abit too comfortable and too little cautiousness sometimes so i shall be more aware of these lil habits LOL.
Let's hope for the best.
I really don't know how bad/good this year will turn out to be.
But i shall try to convince myself that my everyday perspective will change the way things turn out, so i shall remain positive for now and just try my best.
If you're struggling too, let's struggle together and let's just be happy together in the end that we survived yet another year.
FIGHTING !!!
Thank you all for reading my thoughts that don't amount to anything.
Thank you to my friends and family for the support i don't think i'll ever deserve.
I'm so freaking grateful.
Joy
But this year i don't really feel like doing that anymore.
I feel like every year i kind of repeat myself.
Not that i don't change at all, but it's just that i don't think i've changed in ways that can be easily expressed in words.
I would believe that every year my thinking changes, and the people who stand beside me change constantly.
Even though i would really appreciate some constants here and there, but i also can't help that we all change in unexpected ways where we all just grow apart, looking for people who can understand us better.
Before i entered University, i've honestly never had friends who would be willing to cab down to my house at 3am to talk to me and make sure i'm okay, meet me outside for drinks at 12am when i'm just feeling like shit, drive out just to send me home.
Of course, i didn't make all my friends do that LOL COS CAB IS EXPENSIVE, JUST LIKE DRINKS AND ALSO PETROL.
We all gotta be financially more careful as we approach adulthood LOL.
But all these thoughts are things i will bring with me into every phase of my life from now on.
I want to be able to remind myself to be more grateful and thankful.
Be more appreciative, aware, and more involved in things.
I realised that ever since i've started being on more social media, i've slowly started to withdraw from everyone, just being satisfied in my own little bubble and comfort zone.
I don't go out to explore anymore like i used to.
Make the effort to go out there and experience things i've always wanted to see even though i could.
Hiding behind the poor excuse of "no time", "too tired", when all these could easily be solved.
I hope 2019 will be more fulfilling.
I'll be graduating this year, so i'm hoping to be able to work some simple jobs that will allow me to gain experience in the field of Human Resource.
I know, i know.
Why the sudden change from my dream to be a psychologist all along ?
Honestly, learning more and more about Psychology, not only has my interest been peaked, my decent grades have definitely also boosted my confidence in the subject.
However, my lecturers have made a fair point on how my personality would be a detrimental aspect to my career.
First of all, i would definitely love to help everyone, and treat everyone with so much love, that i'll probably be bringing all these problems home with me.
I don't think i'll ever be able to forgive myself either if anything happened to my patients, which is honestly something we can't predict.
So in conclusion, my personality will probably self-destruct my career within years LOL.
Not that training and all are not possible, but that will also make me less invested in my patients, and if i cannot be fully invested in everyone just to protect myself, i rather i not do this at all.
100% or 0% at all.
All or nothing.
I guess that's the kind of person i am, so it'll be difficult to change also la.
But for sure, i'm hoping to grow to be more professional at work, separate my emotions from my jobs, and just do what i have to, and can do for whatever.
I just want to be good at what i do someday.
There are many things to be accomplished this January, and so far i have:
1. my Taekwondo 2nd Dan Grading
2. First concert EVER (YAS BTS LEGGO I CAN'T WAIT TO SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AT NAMJOONIE LOL)
3. Driving test !
All very big things at the start of the year LOL.
And of course, i'll be turning 22 in no time.
I don't think January can be any more exciting.
I just really hope this year can be off to a good start with all 3 having some sort of good ending ok.
I regret my signing on for the grading.
I totally don't feel prepared at all.
And i have no mood for it also. #cry
But as practice for the professionalism, i shall go ahead and try anyway.
In this short time i have, i shall try to brush up on all that i have and PRAY DAMN HARD i don't fail badly ok. (i kind of expecting it already not going to lie, but i just hope i at least pass poomsae and sparring ???? just don't make me fail ALL 3 - poomsae, sparring and self-defence) LOL.
After that, my driving test....
I actually feel comfortable driving now, but i think i abit too comfortable and too little cautiousness sometimes so i shall be more aware of these lil habits LOL.
Let's hope for the best.
I really don't know how bad/good this year will turn out to be.
But i shall try to convince myself that my everyday perspective will change the way things turn out, so i shall remain positive for now and just try my best.
If you're struggling too, let's struggle together and let's just be happy together in the end that we survived yet another year.
FIGHTING !!!
Thank you all for reading my thoughts that don't amount to anything.
Thank you to my friends and family for the support i don't think i'll ever deserve.
I'm so freaking grateful.
Thank you 2018.
Hello 2019.
Joy
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