Frayed & Burnt ;

HELLO EVERYONEEEEE.
Today wasn't really eventful, but i did have some things going on hehehehe.

YESTERDAY, i received one of the best birthday presents i got.
I love all my birthday presents, but this one was something i actually wanted for some time.
I received a MI BAND.

(image credit to the website)

It's very special because it allows me to keep track of how many steps i take, my GPS routes for running, the number of calories i burn from all those, and even sit-ups !!!!
It's pretty amazing.

What makes it more special is the person that gave it to me.
Honestly, i can't express our friendship in normal words because all of that would be an understatement to what we have.
But i am truly thankful to have such an angel looking out for me, and even though that person is somewhat trouble with all the weird shit, but it's really something i treasure and keep close to my heart.

Maybe it's because i've fallen real deep into the depression rut before, i never forget, or allow myself to forget, those who pick me up from there.
My overthinking and tendency to spiral into depression is pretty scary.
I'm not bastardizing the word 'depression'.
I just lack medical proof that i did suffer that, mainly because i didn't seek help.

But if a scaredy cat like me would be willing to end my life i don't think i was merely upset or throwing tantrums or attracting attention to myself. (furthermore, i did not publicize my thoughts till i was over it)

Ever since then i've feared myself so much, and i sometimes force myself to stop thinking too much just so i keep a safe distance from the danger zone.
:)

I'm glad to say that there has been many many many improvements made to make myself happier, and i try my best to live as much for myself as possible.

I've been so blessed with many loving friends who constantly encourage me and help me up. (even if it includes scolding the shit out of me and literally smacking sense into my head)







OK MOVING OUT OF THIS UPSETTING TOPIC, MY DAD JUST PLAYED THE MOST CRUEL JOKE ON ME.

Like the golden beetle flew into the study room i was in, then i told him to kill it.
My dad found it the second time he came into the room and killed it la.

BUT.
While i was waiting for him to kill the bug in the living room and was distracted by the TV, my dad tickled my arm with the tissue paper he killed the bug with.
I am pretty sure i shrieked my lungs out and was this close to crying.

Actually, fuck that i cried.

I REALLY HATE BUGS.
They disgust me.
I don't know why but i just dislike them.
They freak the hell outta me and my dad was being an ass by doing that to me.

I hate it.
:c

Joy