Rest My Bones ;

Life has been full of change recently.

Just when i thought things have settled down, some things always seem to shift, and i can't tell if i hate it yet. 

I've been laughing alot more than i did in the past, and my home has never felt safer. 

I've been enjoying the quiet moments spent in the presence of someone who won't judge me for what i think, do, or say; and the loud moments where we spent the time annoying each other for fun.

I've had so much fun going through life with my husband, and it's been fulfilling to be part of a family i've chosen for myself.

Looking back, i think alot of htings have changed, and yet alot of things have also stayed the same.

Hanging out with my students has fed and healed the inner child in me that i never knew needed healing.

It has also kind of reminded me of my younger days, and i realised that i haven't changed all that much. 
I'm still crazy, still fun-loving, and still looking for the excitement in life.

But hearing their stories and experiences of the friends around me have also made me realise how much i have grown past the things that used to hurt me.

In the days that i can now talk about things that i used to cry and trip over all the time, i feel validated of the person i have grown to be.

I can't say i'm always grateful to have gone through alot of pain and tears to be here.

But I really am happy to be here, as i am.

I'm still not perfect, and i'm still struggling to make it through some days.

I still get stressed out, and overwhelmed with my own unrealistic expectations of life and myself.

But the days have gotten further and further apart, and i realised that i spend most of my days very satisfied and happy to just be present and surviving my weeks.

On the days and weeks where i have the luxury to live and not just survive, i feel like the work i've put in to build the life i have now to be worth so much more than i thought.

If you've been here long enough, through all my sob stories, struggles, and also reflections over the years, thank you.

I'm not sure if i will still blog enough to keep any readers entertained, but i'll try to reflect more conscientiously about my life and growings.

May we all find our way and belonging in the end.

Till we do, i'm so excited to hear about the stories we have to share among ourselves. 

I gotchu.

Thank you for having me.

Joy