Waste Away ;

Sometimes, i think we all forget how much words can weigh.

Other times, i think we just underestimate how important we are to others.

The similarity is that in both of these situations, our words have so much power - for the better or the worst. 

As someone whose love language is words of affirmation, each letter, word, sentence, tends to mean more.

I treasure my words even more - and i try to consciously make it a point to never speak things i don't mean.

In the same sense, i allow what others tell me, wield power over me.

Because that's how i love you - i take your words seriously. 

Lately, my mind has been such an ugly place to be.

I'm so thankful for the positive people around me who gave me a space to breathe, catch my breath, before i go back to trying-not-to-drown.

It hasn't been easy, but thank you for dealing with me even when i'm a difficult person. 

Thank you for listening, accompanying, and comforting me.

Thank you for giving me a shelter to hide from my mind even for awhile. 

That is more than enough for me to pull through this. :)

I don't think it's easy to talk, listen, understand, or communicate to anyone.

But thank you to my friends who always learn how to communicate better with me, and to those who teach me to listen to them better.

Thank you for being a partner in my life, not just a passer-by.

In the past month, i've learned more things about myself than i'd hoped for in 2022.

I'm still unsure of how i can make sense of this, and to help myself cope and learn to be better for the months ahead, but i'm sure it'll be a hella adventure to be on.

It's another year of ups and downs, but i'm sure we'll make it out alive. Together.

Every day is a second chance to start again.

I'm just going to take my chances when i can.

We'll see where this takes us.

Right?

And one day, i'll be satisfied with who i have been, who i am, and who i'll be.

The day is unfortunately not today.

But i can look forward to that day.

If i could escape anywhere, i'd find somewhere under this skies that would hide me safely away from the eyes of others.

I'd seek for somewhere with enough sunlight, but even more stars to illuminate the nights.

I'd look for a place that constantly teaches me the silver lining in every cloud.

I'd find a place where i feel i belong.

I guess, that could be anywhere.

Ranging from a cottage in the middle of nowhere, or the space between a person's arms.

I hope i'll be happy, wherever i end up. 

Be it on the surface of this Earth, or in the skies.

But tonight, let's go to sleep holding on to our tiny hope and dreams to be happy.

Rest your bones.

Empty your mind.

Come lie here, and close your eyes.

Even if you don't have anywhere to go, right here, there'll always be somewhere for you to be. 

Goodnight.

Joy