All-Forgiving ;

In all honesty, i'm more afraid than anything.

There has been many of these incidents where people learn more and more about me, realise how insecure of a person i am, and get tired of trying to reassure me.

Not that i'm proud of it, and i too, am trying to change.

But it's been kinda tough.

I'm not sure why.

Maybe it's the stress, built-up fatigue, uncertainty, or maybe it's the lack of confidence in myself.

:')

I hate to think of myself as a very troublesome person because it makes me even more afraid to lose everyone important to me.

I know.

I know.

My feelings deserves to be validated sometimes, but other times, i really do think of myself as ridiculous.

Just mad overthinking.

With not much basis.

It just happens.

I just wish my brain would shut up some days.

I wish i could be doing something else instead.

I want to pack my bags and go.

Leave.

Walk away.

But i have so much to stay for here.

I want to stare at the night lights, night scenes.

I want to soak in the dark.

I want to see the stars glow.

I want to see the moon.

I want to stay awake at night.

I want to walk. Walk everywhere.

I want a hand to hold.

But for the time being,

I gotta be strong on my own.

So these hands will remain empty for some time longer.

So for tonight, i'll just settle for another night of slight uncertainty in my heart.

For tonight, and the future nights to come, i'll settle for just knowing i exist in your world.

And hopefully one day, i'll fall asleep knowing i belong in that world.

Goodnight.

Joy

And the day this hand is not cold,

I hope we'll stay together for a little longer than forever.