Last Man Standing ;
HELLO FRIENDS.
OMG I'M DOWN TO ONE PAPER DUE ON MONDAY.
I'm actually very very excited to claim my freedom (aka work alot to earn back the money i spent) and to finally take a break.
HEHE.
Even though intern is still a scary thought in my head, it is going to be my reality for 6 months so i hope i at least enjoy it, learn and enhance my skills through precious experience.
I'm 8 months away from graduation.
I already know i'm going to cry at my graduation lor.
Sure, i hate alot of things about school and work and all, but when it comes down to it, i'd still miss this place because it brought me a very treasured part of my life.
That includes my friends, my juniors, my team mates, my seniors, and my boyfriend.
So yea, poly has been pretty fulfilling so far.
I'm really excited to see everything unfold, but i am nervous because "WHAT IF I SCREW UP".
But all is well so far HAHAHA.
BTW.
I got another cut from a plastic cup ??????
Like how do these things happen to me?????????
Do things just decide they hate me and attack my skin or what. :c
I'm mildly offended you things.
Also, i've recently reignited the passion in me to dance.
I watched far too many dance videos on Youtube to continue to deny the fact that i'm gonna go right back to it HAHAHA.
I was thinking of linking y'all to my fav videos and instructors at 1MILLION Dance Studio but i think that'd be too many to list so.
YA.
Let's just leave it at that. :')
I'm determined to tick "taking dance lessons at 1MILLION Dance Studio" off my checklist one day.
(And yes i know some people will never think i'm the kind to dance cos i just really don't look like that kind)
But yes i think i'll actually consider brushing up on my basics before taking any lessons there because i don't want to take beginner classes there and that'd like waste my time and money.
Before all that, i think i want to build up my stamina again.
I'm seeing myself slow down. In so many ways.
I don't burn my weight as fast, and the most important thing is i'm getting tired way faster during trainings.
And that sucks because i kinda still want to be at a certain level.
I feel that the impending black belt is pressurizing me to be better:
Because which black belt sucks at this.
Or at least i don't want to be someone who gets the black belt and then just stops there.
I think that'd be quite sucky.
Plus Ben sir actually set out some goals for us (Thank God. Else i'd seriously do nothing and that'd suck)
I'm lacking motivation now because.
I don't know where to go in Taekwondo now.
I'm not fantastic at everything.
:/
I can't spar unless i train SO MANY MORE TIMES harder than i do now.
And i don't think i can commit to that just yet.
And my poomsae is just.
Mediocre.
I'll never be able to compare to others and i feel shit about myself now.
I kinda feel like it's either i'm damn good at it or just don't do it.
:x
Sigh i'm gonna need to sort out my thoughts again.
I need to decide on a goal for myself else i'd lose it completely.
And i don't want to.
I'll think through this after i submit my paper on monday HAHAHA.
Maybe ask my coach.
Just talk about it.
See what he thinks i can do.
Gosh i feel like i'm letting someone decide how much i'm worth.
But in all honesty, if i were allowed to determine how much i'm worth, i'd never have had the confidence to take up so many challenges.
I'd never have had joined sprinting competitions in the past.
Forget dance competitions.
What CCA leader LOL.
Taekwondo sparring? More like snoring HAHA.
LOL SHIT NOW I FEEL DAMN BAD ABOUT MYSELF.
It's ok i think i'll feel better again soon.
Soon.
Hmm. Now that i think about it, i don't think i've been more confident than i am of myself now.
I'm surrounded by people who loves me, and i found shelter in the people who protect me. Fiercely.
I let myself out of my shell enough.
To find out why i kept myself in there in the first place.
I'm stuck between saying "F*ck it" to everyone and just be me, and keeping all of their good impressions of me.
And i guess that's everyone's struggle?
But i got lucky HAHA.
I found someone willing to fill up my missing parts, and mend the holes others left on me, and love me more than i love myself.
(Actually, i'm lucky enough to know there are more people who love me like that. As in. Friends. But boyfriend first.)
Blessed is the girl who has a boyfriend who buys her EVERYTHING she wants in life, but even more blessed is the one who has one who loves everything she hates about herself, and gives her enough, or everything he can.
And i'm ultra blessed.
We're not perfect, we fight, and we squabble, and we talk things out, but we're ok.
It's actually quite scary how time flies.
In 2 weeks, we're 5 months into this HAHAHA.
We're still figuring out each other, getting to know each other more, getting used to each other, and i think it keeps me going.
I look forward to the day i know everything about him.
But for now, i enjoy the thrill of slowly unveiling all of his secrets.
(No i'm not psychotic. I assure you.)
And so far, i only find things i want to love more of him.
So i guess we're still doing well here.
HAHAHAHA.
Not that my mum would even believe i'd hate anything about the person i date.
Even my mum thinks i'm hopeless when it comes to being in a relationship.
But for real, i'm very very lucky.
And i hope i make him feel just as lucky.
Because i think i make a pretty good girlfriend.
0:)
Kill me i'm embarrassing af.
T.T
Till another day my friends!!!!!
I'll bring back my gross ass. Don't doubt it.
Joy
OMG I'M DOWN TO ONE PAPER DUE ON MONDAY.
I'm actually very very excited to claim my freedom (aka work alot to earn back the money i spent) and to finally take a break.
HEHE.
Even though intern is still a scary thought in my head, it is going to be my reality for 6 months so i hope i at least enjoy it, learn and enhance my skills through precious experience.
I'm 8 months away from graduation.
I already know i'm going to cry at my graduation lor.
Sure, i hate alot of things about school and work and all, but when it comes down to it, i'd still miss this place because it brought me a very treasured part of my life.
That includes my friends, my juniors, my team mates, my seniors, and my boyfriend.
So yea, poly has been pretty fulfilling so far.
I'm really excited to see everything unfold, but i am nervous because "WHAT IF I SCREW UP".
But all is well so far HAHAHA.
BTW.
I got another cut from a plastic cup ??????
Like how do these things happen to me?????????
Do things just decide they hate me and attack my skin or what. :c
I'm mildly offended you things.
Also, i've recently reignited the passion in me to dance.
I watched far too many dance videos on Youtube to continue to deny the fact that i'm gonna go right back to it HAHAHA.
I was thinking of linking y'all to my fav videos and instructors at 1MILLION Dance Studio but i think that'd be too many to list so.
YA.
Let's just leave it at that. :')
I'm determined to tick "taking dance lessons at 1MILLION Dance Studio" off my checklist one day.
(And yes i know some people will never think i'm the kind to dance cos i just really don't look like that kind)
But yes i think i'll actually consider brushing up on my basics before taking any lessons there because i don't want to take beginner classes there and that'd like waste my time and money.
Before all that, i think i want to build up my stamina again.
I'm seeing myself slow down. In so many ways.
I don't burn my weight as fast, and the most important thing is i'm getting tired way faster during trainings.
And that sucks because i kinda still want to be at a certain level.
I feel that the impending black belt is pressurizing me to be better:
Because which black belt sucks at this.
Or at least i don't want to be someone who gets the black belt and then just stops there.
I think that'd be quite sucky.
Plus Ben sir actually set out some goals for us (Thank God. Else i'd seriously do nothing and that'd suck)
I'm lacking motivation now because.
I don't know where to go in Taekwondo now.
I'm not fantastic at everything.
:/
I can't spar unless i train SO MANY MORE TIMES harder than i do now.
And i don't think i can commit to that just yet.
And my poomsae is just.
Mediocre.
I'll never be able to compare to others and i feel shit about myself now.
I kinda feel like it's either i'm damn good at it or just don't do it.
:x
Sigh i'm gonna need to sort out my thoughts again.
I need to decide on a goal for myself else i'd lose it completely.
And i don't want to.
I'll think through this after i submit my paper on monday HAHAHA.
Maybe ask my coach.
Just talk about it.
See what he thinks i can do.
Gosh i feel like i'm letting someone decide how much i'm worth.
But in all honesty, if i were allowed to determine how much i'm worth, i'd never have had the confidence to take up so many challenges.
I'd never have had joined sprinting competitions in the past.
Forget dance competitions.
What CCA leader LOL.
Taekwondo sparring? More like snoring HAHA.
LOL SHIT NOW I FEEL DAMN BAD ABOUT MYSELF.
It's ok i think i'll feel better again soon.
Soon.
I'm surrounded by people who loves me, and i found shelter in the people who protect me. Fiercely.
I let myself out of my shell enough.
To find out why i kept myself in there in the first place.
I'm stuck between saying "F*ck it" to everyone and just be me, and keeping all of their good impressions of me.
And i guess that's everyone's struggle?
But i got lucky HAHA.
I found someone willing to fill up my missing parts, and mend the holes others left on me, and love me more than i love myself.
(Actually, i'm lucky enough to know there are more people who love me like that. As in. Friends. But boyfriend first.)
Blessed is the girl who has a boyfriend who buys her EVERYTHING she wants in life, but even more blessed is the one who has one who loves everything she hates about herself, and gives her enough, or everything he can.
And i'm ultra blessed.
We're not perfect, we fight, and we squabble, and we talk things out, but we're ok.
It's actually quite scary how time flies.
In 2 weeks, we're 5 months into this HAHAHA.
We're still figuring out each other, getting to know each other more, getting used to each other, and i think it keeps me going.
I look forward to the day i know everything about him.
But for now, i enjoy the thrill of slowly unveiling all of his secrets.
(No i'm not psychotic. I assure you.)
And so far, i only find things i want to love more of him.
So i guess we're still doing well here.
HAHAHAHA.
Not that my mum would even believe i'd hate anything about the person i date.
Even my mum thinks i'm hopeless when it comes to being in a relationship.
But for real, i'm very very lucky.
Because i think i make a pretty good girlfriend.
0:)
Kill me i'm embarrassing af.
T.T
Till another day my friends!!!!!
I'll bring back my gross ass. Don't doubt it.
Also, as you can see, my hair is slowly growing back so yay to more braids!!!!!!
Joy
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