260 ;
This is my 260th post on this blog and wow we've come a long way.
There has actually been 3 more blogs before this was truly established by the most mature version of me.
Honestly, i regret deleting the first few blogs.
I would have loved to read my past feelings and laughed at myself but there are also many many regrettable things i have done in the past.
No worries, nothing illegal.
I'm not that gutsy.
It's just a lot of mistakes were made, and it's funny to call my feelings a mistake because they were so real and they impacted me so deeply.
I lost appetite for over a month and it caused me my great (and much-missed) high metabolism rate.
I was depressed and social anxiety took over.
Of course, my parents knew nothing about this and i eventually overcame all of this to be the person that you may know today.
I guess i have mentioned it several times in this blog if you haven't already read about it.
But if you're lazy to scroll, i'll tell you again. :D
I like telling the story as long as it means someone else can avoid making the same mistakes i did.
I was pretty cheery and pampered and arrogant all the way from young till early secondary school.
Obviously i still cared for my sister and i was 24/7 filial sister pls.
But it was more towards my other friends that i was not very very 'kind' as i would say of myself now.
I just came off as very arrogant.
Then in sec 2, i had my closest friends betray me and i saw how materialistic people got.
I lived the rest of my secondary school life avoiding people like people avoided me and trust me when i say it didn't work out for any of us in the end. LOL.
I didn't benefit from the whole thing and neither did the people who opposed me.
So it was a lose-lose thing and i'd greatly advise seeking more help if you are in the situation i was in.
But anyway i slowly lost my confidence and wow did it do me good.
I became more humble and aware of my weaknesses (maybe a little too aware) and i retreated back into my shell alot.
It didn't feel very good.
I couldn't stay in a class with my 'friends' for more than 30mins (even in normal classes) without going to the washroom to just take a breather.
It did me quite well though i focused a lot better on my studies HAHAHA.
BUT IT DIDN'T GIVE ME THOSE FRIENDS YOU'D KEEP FOR LIFE.
So ya.
Poly was a fantastic choice.
Not many regrets here.
Sure there are still mistakes made here but i've learnt so much.
I can hardly believe this blog documented my initial excitement to step into poly, to this day where i am 2 and a half years into poly, graduating next year May.
I'm still as excited about school and i look forward to what intern may bring,
More so, i look forward to what the future holds for me.
I believe my GPA is not going to turn out ideal at all LOL.
Because screw me but i have plans made so i'm still surviving i guess.
Just not very well.
:P
I also just watched "Jessica and Krystal" Ep 10 all over again just to cry because I KNOW i will cry at the part where Krystal surprises Jessica and like i always cry at that scene.
And nearing the end of Ep 7 ???
I ALWAYS CRY AT THEM TALKING ABOUT MISSING EACH OTHER.
Like they were missing a part of their soul.
I never fail myself i swear.
But it's really really sweet.
And like i can feel what Krystal feels because.
I'M ALSO THE ONE PLANNING HAHAHAH.
I have no idea whether being great at planning events is a gift from heaven or hell because
1. people love the surprises you plan
2. you get to see the whole plan unfold
3. the joy on people's faces is just priceless
1. you're better at it so people just never seem to try for you
Yes so i'm stuck in that kind of situation.
xD
But it's okay i really love planning.
...
Could be a backup plan if all else in the Education Industry fail.
*cries*
Eh but i have come to realise that i'm interested in too many things to complete all at once.
I want to learn all sorts of dance, i want to dab in photography so i can take nice photos ehehehe.
I love architecture and interior design (i actually visit certain places just because i love the design of the place but i just go silently because no one needs to know i'm weird and decide not to bring me there again).
^ I also realised that alot of people think that is surprising of me. DO I NOT LOOK DESIGN-ISH. JK my dad used to do interior design so i got some interest there HAHAHA.
I like sports too i wanna try hurdling one day just because it looks so cool to jump over that thing.
:D
I wanna learn how to play the guitar as well omg.
I believe i have enough passion for me to live the rest of my life learning and boomz.
I AM GONNA BE A LIFELONG LEARNER.
Which is so good.
As much as this blog has documented my childish and immature thoughts at one point in time, and my thoughts have been brought to light on this face of Earth through the Internet, i hope it will also document my learning, and maybe spark interest in the people who read this blog.
Yknow those bloggers who all say things like "I AM SO HONOURED TO INSPIRE ALL OF YOU." ?????
I'm gonna be the kind that says "YOU ALL INSPIRE ME".
(Mainly because having people who read this means you cannot really do too much bullshit and it motivates me to be a better person really.)
#rolemodel101
I hope my sis knows i am trying for her. HAHAHAHA.
I wanna die knowing she is proud to call me her older sister.
God i live my life pleasing others to please myself.
BUT IT'S OK.
Maybe one day i'll be ok enough to say i'm self-sufficient.
And need no one else.
EHEHEHE.
But i will leave it to the future cos don't spoil the surprise.
HEH.
Yes it has come to the extent where i surprise myself.
With the unknown.
YEeS.
I still love y'all. ;)
Thank you to everyone who has contributed to the 21752 pageviews on my blog.
For the past 3 years.
Question: Do y'all feel like y'all have raised me to a certain extent through reading what goes on through my mind for the past 3 years like every kpop stan does when they see cute teens grow into HOT AF stars that they are today ????????
Ok midnight thoughts.
Goodnight friends !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I know i changed so many lanes in this blog post i barely remember my introduction)
Joy
There has actually been 3 more blogs before this was truly established by the most mature version of me.
Honestly, i regret deleting the first few blogs.
I would have loved to read my past feelings and laughed at myself but there are also many many regrettable things i have done in the past.
No worries, nothing illegal.
I'm not that gutsy.
It's just a lot of mistakes were made, and it's funny to call my feelings a mistake because they were so real and they impacted me so deeply.
I lost appetite for over a month and it caused me my great (and much-missed) high metabolism rate.
I was depressed and social anxiety took over.
Of course, my parents knew nothing about this and i eventually overcame all of this to be the person that you may know today.
I guess i have mentioned it several times in this blog if you haven't already read about it.
But if you're lazy to scroll, i'll tell you again. :D
I like telling the story as long as it means someone else can avoid making the same mistakes i did.
I was pretty cheery and pampered and arrogant all the way from young till early secondary school.
Obviously i still cared for my sister and i was 24/7 filial sister pls.
But it was more towards my other friends that i was not very very 'kind' as i would say of myself now.
I just came off as very arrogant.
Then in sec 2, i had my closest friends betray me and i saw how materialistic people got.
I lived the rest of my secondary school life avoiding people like people avoided me and trust me when i say it didn't work out for any of us in the end. LOL.
I didn't benefit from the whole thing and neither did the people who opposed me.
So it was a lose-lose thing and i'd greatly advise seeking more help if you are in the situation i was in.
But anyway i slowly lost my confidence and wow did it do me good.
I became more humble and aware of my weaknesses (maybe a little too aware) and i retreated back into my shell alot.
It didn't feel very good.
I couldn't stay in a class with my 'friends' for more than 30mins (even in normal classes) without going to the washroom to just take a breather.
It did me quite well though i focused a lot better on my studies HAHAHA.
BUT IT DIDN'T GIVE ME THOSE FRIENDS YOU'D KEEP FOR LIFE.
So ya.
Poly was a fantastic choice.
Not many regrets here.
Sure there are still mistakes made here but i've learnt so much.
I can hardly believe this blog documented my initial excitement to step into poly, to this day where i am 2 and a half years into poly, graduating next year May.
I'm still as excited about school and i look forward to what intern may bring,
More so, i look forward to what the future holds for me.
I believe my GPA is not going to turn out ideal at all LOL.
Because screw me but i have plans made so i'm still surviving i guess.
Just not very well.
:P
I also just watched "Jessica and Krystal" Ep 10 all over again just to cry because I KNOW i will cry at the part where Krystal surprises Jessica and like i always cry at that scene.
And nearing the end of Ep 7 ???
I ALWAYS CRY AT THEM TALKING ABOUT MISSING EACH OTHER.
Like they were missing a part of their soul.
I never fail myself i swear.
But it's really really sweet.
And like i can feel what Krystal feels because.
I'M ALSO THE ONE PLANNING HAHAHAH.
I have no idea whether being great at planning events is a gift from heaven or hell because
1. people love the surprises you plan
2. you get to see the whole plan unfold
3. the joy on people's faces is just priceless
1. you're better at it so people just never seem to try for you
Yes so i'm stuck in that kind of situation.
xD
But it's okay i really love planning.
...
Could be a backup plan if all else in the Education Industry fail.
*cries*
Eh but i have come to realise that i'm interested in too many things to complete all at once.
I want to learn all sorts of dance, i want to dab in photography so i can take nice photos ehehehe.
I love architecture and interior design (i actually visit certain places just because i love the design of the place but i just go silently because no one needs to know i'm weird and decide not to bring me there again).
^ I also realised that alot of people think that is surprising of me. DO I NOT LOOK DESIGN-ISH. JK my dad used to do interior design so i got some interest there HAHAHA.
I like sports too i wanna try hurdling one day just because it looks so cool to jump over that thing.
:D
I wanna learn how to play the guitar as well omg.
I believe i have enough passion for me to live the rest of my life learning and boomz.
I AM GONNA BE A LIFELONG LEARNER.
Which is so good.
As much as this blog has documented my childish and immature thoughts at one point in time, and my thoughts have been brought to light on this face of Earth through the Internet, i hope it will also document my learning, and maybe spark interest in the people who read this blog.
Yknow those bloggers who all say things like "I AM SO HONOURED TO INSPIRE ALL OF YOU." ?????
I'm gonna be the kind that says "YOU ALL INSPIRE ME".
(Mainly because having people who read this means you cannot really do too much bullshit and it motivates me to be a better person really.)
#rolemodel101
I hope my sis knows i am trying for her. HAHAHAHA.
I wanna die knowing she is proud to call me her older sister.
God i live my life pleasing others to please myself.
BUT IT'S OK.
Maybe one day i'll be ok enough to say i'm self-sufficient.
And need no one else.
EHEHEHE.
But i will leave it to the future cos don't spoil the surprise.
HEH.
Yes it has come to the extent where i surprise myself.
With the unknown.
YEeS.
I still love y'all. ;)
Thank you to everyone who has contributed to the 21752 pageviews on my blog.
For the past 3 years.
Question: Do y'all feel like y'all have raised me to a certain extent through reading what goes on through my mind for the past 3 years like every kpop stan does when they see cute teens grow into HOT AF stars that they are today ????????
Ok midnight thoughts.
Goodnight friends !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I know i changed so many lanes in this blog post i barely remember my introduction)
Joy
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