Detour ;
HEY GUYS.
So these few days have just been the same.
By that i mean suffocating-ly similar to every other day i am going through.
To add on to my worries, my parents invited my cousin over to stay.
WHILE THEY ARE OVERSEAS.
Not only so, nobody told me anything till last minute and i already made arrangements for the weekend.
Now my sister is blaming me for not being able to take care of him and whatsoever.
Not like i planned to bring him over for goodness sake.
In fact, she was the one who wanted it?????
AH GIRL. I HAVE THINGS TO DO LA BIJ.
Ugh i got too many things on my mind and like i really want to just punch those people who have no idea what i doing now but keeps requesting more.
IF YOU CAN DO IT SO WELL, DO IT YOURSELF.
All these inconsiderate people.
Seriously.
And my kitchen is also in a mess because of my sister.
I want to curse so bad but i am trying not to.
I wonder how long it will take for me to think all these are too much for me and explode at every little thing.
Really getting too worn out.
I feel like a horrible student because i do not have enough time to finish studying. And i am doing super last minute studying already.
I also feel like a horrible cousin because my sis just said i did nothing to take care of him.
I feel like a horrible leader because i fail to explain things clearly and get what i want to be done, done.
I feel like a horrible friend because i just get so angsty at everything.
I really really want a break.
But school makes it so impossible.
Gosh why is this so hard.
And as if all these commitments are not enough, i have more commitments coming up ?????
I am on the verge of breaking down.
This is horrifying.
Never thought i will set foot on this danger zone again.
I simply don't have enough capacity to do all these work for so many people.
Times like this i really need someone to lean on.
Unfortunately for me, all my friends have their own things to worry about, and they all have no time for me.
Especially for those whom i really care about.
It sucks being the one who always love and care more.
No shit, there are times where i doubt my importance.
Just because i am always there, i wonder if people will just assume i am always there.
Because i won't.
And i hope someday, someone will realize when i'm gone.
Even if just one person.
That sounds good.
And just because i always let the other person win, it doesn't mean they are right.
I really hope they don't think so.
It has (sadly) come to a point where my pride is worthless because no matter what, i will be the one at fault, and the one to lower my pose and apologize.
I didn't do that because they were always right.
I simply valued their pride more than mine.
I really hope they will find out some day.
I think i have been disappointed too many times to actually care about how others treat me.
It makes me lose a little more faith when i get caught up in situations like this.
Just how many times do i have to meet the wrong people, to find the right people.
I just wish everything would fall into place now.
That'd be great.
Joy
So these few days have just been the same.
By that i mean suffocating-ly similar to every other day i am going through.
To add on to my worries, my parents invited my cousin over to stay.
WHILE THEY ARE OVERSEAS.
Not only so, nobody told me anything till last minute and i already made arrangements for the weekend.
Now my sister is blaming me for not being able to take care of him and whatsoever.
Not like i planned to bring him over for goodness sake.
In fact, she was the one who wanted it?????
AH GIRL. I HAVE THINGS TO DO LA BIJ.
Ugh i got too many things on my mind and like i really want to just punch those people who have no idea what i doing now but keeps requesting more.
IF YOU CAN DO IT SO WELL, DO IT YOURSELF.
All these inconsiderate people.
Seriously.
And my kitchen is also in a mess because of my sister.
I want to curse so bad but i am trying not to.
I wonder how long it will take for me to think all these are too much for me and explode at every little thing.
Really getting too worn out.
I feel like a horrible student because i do not have enough time to finish studying. And i am doing super last minute studying already.
I also feel like a horrible cousin because my sis just said i did nothing to take care of him.
I feel like a horrible leader because i fail to explain things clearly and get what i want to be done, done.
I feel like a horrible friend because i just get so angsty at everything.
I really really want a break.
But school makes it so impossible.
Gosh why is this so hard.
And as if all these commitments are not enough, i have more commitments coming up ?????
I am on the verge of breaking down.
This is horrifying.
Never thought i will set foot on this danger zone again.
I simply don't have enough capacity to do all these work for so many people.
Times like this i really need someone to lean on.
Unfortunately for me, all my friends have their own things to worry about, and they all have no time for me.
Especially for those whom i really care about.
It sucks being the one who always love and care more.
No shit, there are times where i doubt my importance.
Just because i am always there, i wonder if people will just assume i am always there.
Because i won't.
And i hope someday, someone will realize when i'm gone.
Even if just one person.
That sounds good.
And just because i always let the other person win, it doesn't mean they are right.
I really hope they don't think so.
It has (sadly) come to a point where my pride is worthless because no matter what, i will be the one at fault, and the one to lower my pose and apologize.
I didn't do that because they were always right.
I simply valued their pride more than mine.
I really hope they will find out some day.
I think i have been disappointed too many times to actually care about how others treat me.
It makes me lose a little more faith when i get caught up in situations like this.
Just how many times do i have to meet the wrong people, to find the right people.
I just wish everything would fall into place now.
That'd be great.
Joy
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