50cm ;
HI PEOPLE .
omg you know my sis intro me to a new song today by IU .
"50cm"
i was like wth is that .
but she apparently knew i was goin got ask that and like had all the answers prepared because she was like "Oh , it's the distance between their lips , and she was like 'don't cross the line' , 'don't tempt me' or something like that ."
SO MUCH FEELS .
erm .
tell me i wasn't the only one who felt like that .
like on my grad day , in Anderson , i was trying so damn hard to not cry .
LOL .
in my mind i was like "if one more crying person is going to come to me i will f*cking cry along ."
(in which no one came to me and i was extremely thankful for that)
in all honesty i do miss anderson sometimes .
like when i think about how school in future would be a completely different place without my beloved teachers .
and i won't have best friends to climb up the stairs for just to talk about bullshit for that 15mins .
and i won't have to wait for anyone after school anymore to get lunch together or anything like that .
it's going to be a whole new environment and i'm scared .
i know some people are going there too , in fact , quite a number actually .
i also know alot of people going too SP which is really near my campus so i'll definitely have someone to look for when i need it .
but the point is , even with all this , i'm scared .
idk if you feel like this too but i do .
the people i know now are eventually going to meet people in the new school .
we are all going to be studying different things and at different timings .
we aren't going to be able to meet up always , and it isn't always going to be possible to make time for each other at our most critical times .
i know all these but the point is , i hate the feeling of how we drift apart .
like , it's just hollow , and scary , then empty .
just pure empty .
then in no time , all you'll be doing is the occasional text messages on special days , the phone calls only when you need them , the 'hi's when you see them somewhere or something .
it's just sad .
i'm such an emotional piece of shit .
LOL .
which is also why i hate getting attached to people .
even just knowing you a little better is kinda scary .
because idk if you're gonna be able to stay and tolerate me till long enough .
ok let's skip this emo shit .
just now i was scrolling down my fb page .
let me tell you , IT'S A BAD IDEA TO DO THAT .
like , i was sooooo disgusted by myself .
i was so needy of someone to assure myself that i am not hateful .
i was so clingy to my boyfriend then .
it was horrible .
i am still like that now , needing assurance constantly .
but at least i can survive on my own .
i can live with or without it , just that it's a little harder without .
AND I AM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS .
LOL .
if anyone knows how to rid of any insecurities , please tell me .
i need to know .
oh wait .
nothing works , not youtube videos , not inspiring messages or anything .
i will figure a way out eventually i believe .
and to the loving people who have been my guardian angels all along till today , i cannot even express my thanks .
-hugs and kisses to all of you-
i am truly blessed to have met you bunch and it has been a great time while it lasted .
i would hope that we'd still be as close with many more years to come but as a friend i think i will not be selfish and childish to be overly possessive .
(please still try to understand why i'm jealous sometimes . i'm jealous because i care and i love you ok !)
to my readers who are like my silent supporters (even though i don't know who you are or where you are) , thank you .
thank you for keeping my company on my journey , listening to my views even if they aren't entirely correct , or if it was just my pure judgemental mindset .
thank you for staying with this blog till now despite all the weird rants i give and the most random thoughts i get at the most untimely time .
i have reached my 8665th view and it's pretty cool to think that this was probably much faster than all my previous blogs that my blog has gained abit of recognition .
teehee !
THAT MAKES ME HAPPY . :D
today i will give my readers and myself my word , that i will do more things that will make me happy .
at least once a month , i will speak my mind honestly without caring who i'd offend with my truth . (but i will have my limits la . cannot ruthlessly shoot everyone right .)
I SHALL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO KEEP THIS PROMISE .
ermmm .
for that one day .
i like the 12th .
how does that sound ?
on the 12th of every month , i shall be the most honest idiot in the world and i will wear my heart on the sleeve for just one day .
until i decide people of the society don't deserve this tiny bit of faith anymore .
but for now , i will keep my hopes high .
MWAHS FOR ALL OF YOUUUUU .
Joy
omg you know my sis intro me to a new song today by IU .
"50cm"
i was like wth is that .
but she apparently knew i was goin got ask that and like had all the answers prepared because she was like "Oh , it's the distance between their lips , and she was like 'don't cross the line' , 'don't tempt me' or something like that ."
SO MUCH FEELS .
erm .
tell me i wasn't the only one who felt like that .
like on my grad day , in Anderson , i was trying so damn hard to not cry .
LOL .
in my mind i was like "if one more crying person is going to come to me i will f*cking cry along ."
(in which no one came to me and i was extremely thankful for that)
in all honesty i do miss anderson sometimes .
like when i think about how school in future would be a completely different place without my beloved teachers .
and i won't have best friends to climb up the stairs for just to talk about bullshit for that 15mins .
and i won't have to wait for anyone after school anymore to get lunch together or anything like that .
it's going to be a whole new environment and i'm scared .
i know some people are going there too , in fact , quite a number actually .
i also know alot of people going too SP which is really near my campus so i'll definitely have someone to look for when i need it .
but the point is , even with all this , i'm scared .
idk if you feel like this too but i do .
the people i know now are eventually going to meet people in the new school .
we are all going to be studying different things and at different timings .
we aren't going to be able to meet up always , and it isn't always going to be possible to make time for each other at our most critical times .
i know all these but the point is , i hate the feeling of how we drift apart .
like , it's just hollow , and scary , then empty .
just pure empty .
then in no time , all you'll be doing is the occasional text messages on special days , the phone calls only when you need them , the 'hi's when you see them somewhere or something .
it's just sad .
i'm such an emotional piece of shit .
LOL .
which is also why i hate getting attached to people .
even just knowing you a little better is kinda scary .
because idk if you're gonna be able to stay and tolerate me till long enough .
ok let's skip this emo shit .
just now i was scrolling down my fb page .
let me tell you , IT'S A BAD IDEA TO DO THAT .
like , i was sooooo disgusted by myself .
i was so needy of someone to assure myself that i am not hateful .
i was so clingy to my boyfriend then .
it was horrible .
i am still like that now , needing assurance constantly .
but at least i can survive on my own .
i can live with or without it , just that it's a little harder without .
AND I AM TRYING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS .
LOL .
if anyone knows how to rid of any insecurities , please tell me .
i need to know .
oh wait .
nothing works , not youtube videos , not inspiring messages or anything .
i will figure a way out eventually i believe .
and to the loving people who have been my guardian angels all along till today , i cannot even express my thanks .
-hugs and kisses to all of you-
i am truly blessed to have met you bunch and it has been a great time while it lasted .
i would hope that we'd still be as close with many more years to come but as a friend i think i will not be selfish and childish to be overly possessive .
(please still try to understand why i'm jealous sometimes . i'm jealous because i care and i love you ok !)
to my readers who are like my silent supporters (even though i don't know who you are or where you are) , thank you .
thank you for keeping my company on my journey , listening to my views even if they aren't entirely correct , or if it was just my pure judgemental mindset .
thank you for staying with this blog till now despite all the weird rants i give and the most random thoughts i get at the most untimely time .
i have reached my 8665th view and it's pretty cool to think that this was probably much faster than all my previous blogs that my blog has gained abit of recognition .
teehee !
THAT MAKES ME HAPPY . :D
today i will give my readers and myself my word , that i will do more things that will make me happy .
at least once a month , i will speak my mind honestly without caring who i'd offend with my truth . (but i will have my limits la . cannot ruthlessly shoot everyone right .)
I SHALL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO KEEP THIS PROMISE .
ermmm .
for that one day .
i like the 12th .
how does that sound ?
on the 12th of every month , i shall be the most honest idiot in the world and i will wear my heart on the sleeve for just one day .
until i decide people of the society don't deserve this tiny bit of faith anymore .
but for now , i will keep my hopes high .
MWAHS FOR ALL OF YOUUUUU .
Joy
"I am so afraid of losing something i love that i refuse to love anything ."
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