Great Indoors ;

Recently i've gone back to being a homebody.
Maybe it's the temporarily increased frequency of going out that makes me want to stay in more, but it's been such a bummer.
And yet i don't feel like making a conscious effort to get myself out of my bed. :")

The guilt has been real.

I've been happy(?) lately, and i guess i'm still struggling at work but that's okay.
I haven't been blogging regularly anymore because i can't seem to find the time and sit down to just reflect on myself.
All my weekends have been burned trying to make up for all the sleep debt i've incurred over the week.
Life has been a little tough but at least i'm still trying to make time for the things and people that matter.

I think i've been doing O K A Y so far at that.
:")
I'm keeping contact with more of my friends and i feel better about myself that way compared to those days where i could live without texting anyone from other groups except the group i am hanging out with the most.
Wow that was tough to admit.
I couldn't bring myself to recognise that i run through so many groups of friends sometimes because i was a little flaky and didn't want to commit the effort to keep in touch in fear they will get tired of me, so i rather back off before they can even think that.

Was it cowardly to think that? Yes.

Is it still scary now that i'm committing more time to make sure these people don't forget me?

No.


In fact, i feel like we're closer than ever, if that's even humanly possible.
They basically read my mind now, and i can openly admit i miss them!

That feels weirdly liberating to be honest - the ability to speak your mind freely knowing that the other party won't think you're weird.
:")
That means alot to me since i'm someone who innately tries to please others.
Knowing that whatever i say won't make them unhappy with me, and they won't judge me for feeling clingy, needy or too tired is very nice. :")

Am thankful for you bunch who listen to me, love me, and shower me with so much care and concern.

Emotions having been running at an all-time high.
Perhaps it's because it's the month of love!
But hey this year i'm gonna be working on Valentines so that's nice HAHAHA.
Technically, Valentines falls on a Friday, but i'd be pretty lucky if i don't have to work OT on that day considering i have allowed myself to procrastinate and pile up some work LOL.
:")

Work will always be a struggle when there is a shift in duties or just the whole process in general.
Plus i'm not one to get used to changes in routine in a snap.
*sob*

I don't know if people actually train themselves to get used to changes.
...
Do they???

Idk but hopefully one day i'll settle into the changes faster.


Really want to take a break from work for awhile BUT IT HAS ONLY BEEN A MONTH SINCE I TOOK A LEAVE.
Also cos there's a new lady on my team, i'd kinda hate to leave her alone.
Not when i know how helpless it feels to be left on your own when you're unfamiliar with alot of things and everyone just keeps looking for everyone else on your team.
It honestly sucks and makes you feel inferior on another level.

Oh well.
We'll pull through!
February is a short month.
We're almost halfway through already.

See?
Time isn't as slow as it seems and it passes way faster when we're at work so it'll be okay and everyday i'll just do my best.
We'll get through this again.
Like how we always did!

The weather and virus has been badddd recently.
Even if life is getting you down, please take good care of yourselves and be sure to drink more water, eat better food, and wash your hands more often!
You're all precious to someone, so i hope you treasure yourselves as well too.
Don't make anyone sad because you were hurting yourself okay?

There's still so much to live for!
I can't wait for you to find happiness at the end of this long arduous journey.
I'm sure someday you'll find it, and someone will be beside you at the end of every day.

Take SUPER good care so you live till that day.
:D



Thank you for reading all my boring rambles till here.
It has been nice having your attention for this 10 minutes.

HAHAHA.

I love you!
Thank you for being you, and for being with me on this night, right here, on the internet.
I'll send you electronic hugs hehehehhe.

Goodnight!
Sleep well!!!

Joy