Quiet Nights ;
HELLO EVERYBADI.
(-o-)/
(Disclaimer: no i am not trying to be nazi i am just waving but i cannot get the emoji right)
OKAI SO FINALLY I HAVE SOME TIME TO THINK THROUGH SOME SHIT.
And also to ramble about these thoughts while i update you on what has been on my mind.
Hmm so other than sorting out my assignments, alot of things just hasn't been going my way, and i've been very very moody hahaha.
I feel like a misfit everywhere and it's so sad because i feel like the people who used to be close to me are all slowly finding excuses to drift away from me, or that i just never belonged near them anyway.
It makes me jealous that others always have someone to celebrate their small little victories with and i don't.
:(
BUT HEY. I do alot of things for other people too but i'll never be their priority like they are to me.
//cries//
Ok maybe i think or expect too much that's why i get disappointed.
But it's okay.
I will psycho myself to get over it soon.
I just hope this feeling doesn't stay long enough to become an issue.
Then there's also like alot of commitments lately, like my treasurer post and the school stuff.
SO MANY THINGS TO DO ALL AT ONCE.
So overwhelming.
If everything i had to do was a drop of water i can only pray i don't drown.
No shit.
Adding on to this pile of things to do is my mum pressuring me to go for my practical lessons for driving.
(Like LOL she tell me study then tell me do this and that then complain i not studying then come bullshit me sigh)
I say i don't have time then she say i wasting time everyday (which, to some extent, is true. BUT NOT ALWAYS.)
Then there is also just alot of people who make me very vexed la.
They literally strangle my mind because they give me things to think about when i have the least amount of time to give to them.
If i had alot of time on my hand i'd never mind them telling me all these shit but damn.
At this point in time ????
I'd just feel like punching the wall or something.
HAHA.
Enough of complaints.
I believe there's always a silver lining on every cloud, and so here's mine.
1. My primary school friends are now organising another meetup which is great news for me because i absolutely missed them and would really love to have them with me now.
2. My pay is coming in soon.
3. I thought today was the last day at my attachment centre but it was not and that made me happy.
4. A special child came up to me and greeted me good morning today and he also held my hand and said bye to me. IT MELTED ME COMPLETELY. Today is a miracle.
5. In my attachment centre there is a kid with the same birthday as me and it makes me happy hehehehehe. (though he is leaving today but he was a pleasure to meet)
6. I know i always have the support of my closest friends in poly and it makes me so glad to have known them.
7. I know i will always, ALWAYS, have someone watching my back for me even though he cannot be physically there for me every day. I know i have someone who will catch me when i fall and it makes me feel so absolutely blessed.
8. I know you people reading are always here for me, for the good or the bad.
Maybe some of you are here for the gossip. Some are here to laugh at my misery. Some could be here just for the laughs.
But hey, being here is all that counts.
A super big thank you to the people who pick me up on days when i'm down and to those who actually give some f*cks about how i'm doing.
You guys are the real MVP.
Love y'all. :D
Joy
(-o-)/
(Disclaimer: no i am not trying to be nazi i am just waving but i cannot get the emoji right)
OKAI SO FINALLY I HAVE SOME TIME TO THINK THROUGH SOME SHIT.
And also to ramble about these thoughts while i update you on what has been on my mind.
Hmm so other than sorting out my assignments, alot of things just hasn't been going my way, and i've been very very moody hahaha.
I feel like a misfit everywhere and it's so sad because i feel like the people who used to be close to me are all slowly finding excuses to drift away from me, or that i just never belonged near them anyway.
It makes me jealous that others always have someone to celebrate their small little victories with and i don't.
:(
BUT HEY. I do alot of things for other people too but i'll never be their priority like they are to me.
//cries//
Ok maybe i think or expect too much that's why i get disappointed.
But it's okay.
I will psycho myself to get over it soon.
I just hope this feeling doesn't stay long enough to become an issue.
Then there's also like alot of commitments lately, like my treasurer post and the school stuff.
SO MANY THINGS TO DO ALL AT ONCE.
So overwhelming.
If everything i had to do was a drop of water i can only pray i don't drown.
No shit.
Adding on to this pile of things to do is my mum pressuring me to go for my practical lessons for driving.
(Like LOL she tell me study then tell me do this and that then complain i not studying then come bullshit me sigh)
I say i don't have time then she say i wasting time everyday (which, to some extent, is true. BUT NOT ALWAYS.)
Then there is also just alot of people who make me very vexed la.
They literally strangle my mind because they give me things to think about when i have the least amount of time to give to them.
If i had alot of time on my hand i'd never mind them telling me all these shit but damn.
At this point in time ????
I'd just feel like punching the wall or something.
HAHA.
Enough of complaints.
I believe there's always a silver lining on every cloud, and so here's mine.
1. My primary school friends are now organising another meetup which is great news for me because i absolutely missed them and would really love to have them with me now.
2. My pay is coming in soon.
3. I thought today was the last day at my attachment centre but it was not and that made me happy.
4. A special child came up to me and greeted me good morning today and he also held my hand and said bye to me. IT MELTED ME COMPLETELY. Today is a miracle.
5. In my attachment centre there is a kid with the same birthday as me and it makes me happy hehehehehe. (though he is leaving today but he was a pleasure to meet)
6. I know i always have the support of my closest friends in poly and it makes me so glad to have known them.
7. I know i will always, ALWAYS, have someone watching my back for me even though he cannot be physically there for me every day. I know i have someone who will catch me when i fall and it makes me feel so absolutely blessed.
8. I know you people reading are always here for me, for the good or the bad.
Maybe some of you are here for the gossip. Some are here to laugh at my misery. Some could be here just for the laughs.
But hey, being here is all that counts.
A super big thank you to the people who pick me up on days when i'm down and to those who actually give some f*cks about how i'm doing.
You guys are the real MVP.
Love y'all. :D
Joy
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